Sexual Orientation Relates To Who You Are Attracted to and Who You Want to Have Relationships With. It includes Gays, lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, and Asexuals.
Sexual orientation differs from gender and gender identity.
Sexual orientation relates to who you are attracted to and who you feel emotionally, emotionally, and sexually attracted to. It is different from gender identity. Gender identity is not about the person you are attracted to, it is about who you are – male, female, gender, etc.
This means that being transgender (the feeling that your assigned gender is completely different from the gender you specify) is not the same as being gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Sexual orientation is about who you want to be with. Gender identity is about who you are.
There is a range of identities associated with sexual orientation:
- People who are attracted to a different gender (for example, women who are attracted to men or men who are attracted to women) often call themselves straight or heterosexual.
- People who are attracted to people of the same sex often call themselves gay or gay. Lesbian women may prefer the term lesbian.
- People who are attracted to both men and women often call themselves bisexual.
- People whose attractiveness spans across many different gender identities (male, female, transgender, heterosexual, bisexual, etc.) may call themselves heterosexual or homosexual.
- People who are not sure of their sexual orientation may call themselves question or curious.
- People who have no sexual attraction to anyone often call themselves asexual.
It's also important to note that some people don't think any of these labels describe them accurately. Some people don't like the idea of labels at all. Others feel comfortable with some stickers and not others. It is up to you to decide how you want to rank yourself, if so.
What Does Strange Mean?
The term queer can include a variety of gender identities and gender identities that are anything other than straight and gender-compliant.
In the past, "gay" was a word used to hurt and insult people. Some people still find it offensive, especially those who remember when this word was used in a painful way. Others now proudly use the word to define themselves.
You may not want to refer to someone as "gay" unless you know that's how they identify themselves. When talking to someone about their sexual orientation, use the terms they use. It's okay (and often encouraged!) to ask what ratings people like best.
What is Asexuality?
People who are considered asexual don't really feel sexual attraction to anyone. They may think that others are physically attractive, or they may want to be in romantic relationships with people — but they are not interested in having sex or doing sexual things with other people. Asexual people sometimes use the word "ace" for short.
Asexuality has nothing to do with romantic attraction. Many asexuals feel emotionally attracted to people – so they may identify as asexual, as well as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or straight. They feel no desire to act on these feelings in a sexual way.
Asexual people have emotional needs just like everyone else. Some asexual people have romantic relationships, and some don't. They approach people or experience intimacy in ways other than sex.
There are also people who don't feel romantically attracted or want to be in romantic relationships - they might identify as fragrant. Being aromatic and asexual are two separate things.
Some asexual people are aroused (turned on), but they do not feel the desire to have sex with other people. Some asexual people masturbate. But others may not feel the excitement at all.
It's perfectly normal to go through times when you don't want to have sex, but that doesn't necessarily mean you're asexual. And asexuality is not the same thing as being celibate. Celibacy is a choice you make, and asexuality is a gender identity — who you are, of course.
Like other sexual orientations, asexuality is not always black and white. There is a spectrum between being sexual (being sexually attractive) and being asexual. Different people fall into different places on this spectrum. Some people who have very little sexual attraction to others are known as Gray-A. Some people who are only sexually attracted to people they have relationships with identify as intersex. Want to know how to get to know someone? Ask them.
There is nothing "wrong" with asexual people, nor is there evidence to support that people are asexual due to any kind of mental health or trauma. It's actually a common species - some research says 1 in 100 adults is asexual. You can find more information about asexuality at the Asexual Vision and Education Network.
What if I Don't Want to Be Rated?
It's okay if you don't want to be labeled. Only you can decide which gender identity best describes you. But some people may feel that none of the common designations is correct for them.
Your sexual orientation and identity can remain the same throughout your life. Or it can vary depending on who you're attracted to, a partner's romantic relationship or sexual activity. This is completely normal. Once a tag is claimed, there is no reason why it should not change during the change.
Changing how you are identified does not mean that you are "confused". Many people, old and young, experience changes in who they are attracted to and how they identify. This is called "liquidity".
Not everyone knows their sexual orientation or how to classify themselves. If you feel this way, know that it is common and you are not alone.
What if I'm Not Sure About My Sexual Orientation?
This is really common, and it doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you. For some people, understanding Their Sexual Orientation can take years, or even a lifetime. Oftentimes, people find that they have been "interrogated" for a while, or that none of the labels used to describe sexual orientation suit them.
Some people may be people who know if it fits, and then boil it down to another that isn't. That's fine too. You don't have to perform a separate resolution, separately.
Some people struggle to express Others or even themselves because they are afraid of homophobia and discrimination in sexual orientation. These are real issues that LGBT people face.
If you've ever asked yourself, “Am I gay/bisexual?” You're not alone. Getting to talk to a trusted friend or family member might help you figure it out.
Can Others Know My Sexual Orientation?
No, the person does not know your sexual orientation unless you tell them. Sexual orientation describes how you feel inside, and only you know what it's like to be you.
Some people may think that they can guess whether a person is gay, lesbian, or bisexual based on superficial factors such as their appearance, dress, or behavior. These are stereotypes, or oversimplified judgments, about how lesbians, gays, and bisexuals behave. But just like heterosexuals, there are many different ways that gays and bisexuals look, dress, and act. Using stereotypes to label another person's sexual orientation can be inaccurate and harmful.
Sexual orientation is a natural part of your personality — it's not a choice. Your sexual orientation can change over the course of your life.
What Causes Sexual Orientation?
It is not entirely known why someone might be gay, gay, straight or bisexual. But research shows that sexual orientation is likely caused by biological factors that start before birth.
People don't decide who they are attracted to, and neither therapy, treatment, or persuasion will change a person's sexual orientation. You also can't "convert" someone like me. For example, exposing a boy to toys traditionally made for girls, such as dolls, will not make him gay.
You probably started realizing who you're attracted to at a very young age. This does not mean that you have sexual feelings, only that you can identify the people that you find attractive or likable. Many people say they knew they were gay, gay, or bisexual even before puberty.
Although sexual orientation is usually determined early in life, it is not at all uncommon for your desires and attractions to change throughout your life. This is called "liquidity". Many people, including sex researchers and scientists, believe that sexual orientation is on a scale with totally gay on one side and totally straight on the other. Not many people will be at the far ends, but somewhere in the middle.
How Many LGBTQ People Are There?
LGBTQ stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Gay/Questioning.
Although researchers try to study the number of LGBTQ people, it is very difficult to get an accurate number. This is because gender identity, sexual orientation, gender identity and sexual behavior are complex for people. Let's break it down:
- Gender identity is who you feel inside and how you express those feelings through the way you act, talk, dress, etc.
- Sexual attraction is the romantic or sexual feelings you feel about others.
- Gender identity is how you describe yourself (for example, using labels such as gay, lesbian, lesbian, straight, or bisexual).
- Sexual behavior is who you have sex with and what types of sex you like.
Sometimes all of these things are in line for a person. For example, a woman may feel that she is only attracted to women, identify as a lesbian, and have sexual relations only with women.
But these things don't always line up. Not everyone who has same-sex sexual feelings or attraction will act on them. Some people may engage in same-sex sexual behavior but do not identify themselves as bisexual, lesbian, or gay. In some situations, coming out as LGBTQ can trigger fear and discrimination, and not everyone feels comfortable going out. For some people, sexual orientation can change at different periods of their lives and the labels they use for themselves may change as well.
So it's hard to gauge how many LGBTI people are when sexual orientation and gender are too complex for many people. And not everyone feels safe or comfortable telling another person that they are LGBT.
Recent research indicates that 11% of American adults admit to at least some same-sex sexual attraction, while 8.2% report having engaged in same-sex behavior, but only 3.5% identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. This shows that what people feel or do is not always the same way they define themselves.
Not everyone comes out the same way. And not everyone addresses everyone in their life, or goes out to everyone at the same time. There is no one right way out.
What Does it Mean to "Come out"?
Exit refers to the process LGBTQ people go through as they work to accept their sexual orientation or gender identity and share that identity openly with other people.
Going out is a very brave thing, and it is very personal and different for everyone. Your feelings on exit may range from fear and anxiety to exhilaration and relief.
There is no one right way out. It may be better to be open and honest about your sexual orientation than to hide it, but there are many factors to consider before you go out.
- Checkout is a process. Often the first step is to get outside yourself. This happens when you learn about your sexual orientation and begin to accept it. Then, you may choose to tell your family, friends, and people in your community — sometimes right away, sometimes later. You may decide to be open with some of the people in your life, but not with others.
- Getting out is not a one-time thing. Because many people assume that everyone they meet is straight, coming out is an ongoing process. Every time a specific LGBT person meets a new person (friends, co-workers, nurses, doctors, etc.), they have to decide if, when, and how to get out.
- The choice of exit depends on the situation. The checkout process can be free and it can bring you closer to the people you love. But it can also be stressful, even risky, or dangerous. You may feel more secure about not going out in certain situations. You don't have to go out everywhere all the time. You can decide what is best for you.
- Exit can have benefits and risks. If you're wondering if you're going out, there's a lot to consider. Does moving out mean you risk losing emotional or financial support from your family? Can going out put you in physical danger? Will your family try to pressure you into becoming someone you're not? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may want to wait until you are in a different situation or get more support.
You are solely responsible for the checkout experience. It's up to you to choose how, where, when and with whom to be open about your sexual orientation (and gender identity). It may be safer to start opening up with other people also known as LGBTQ. This could be online, at community centers, in a LGBTQ club or group, or with a few close friends.
How Do I Get to My Parents and Friends?
There is no one right way to express your family and friends. You are the expert on what you feel is right for you, and who you feel safest to tell.
Here are some suggestions that might make the conversation easier:
- When you decide you're ready to go out, give yourself some time to practice how you're going to do it and what you're going to say.
- Identify the people or people in your life who you think would be okay with the news, and talk to them first. You can often get a sense of how friendly someone is to LGBT people by how they interact when the topic comes up in the conversation.
- Do some research so you have information about being LGBTQ in case your loved one has questions or doesn't have the facts.
- You may feel more comfortable going out by writing a letter or email rather than telling someone in person. This is totally fine.
- After you've decided who you're going out with, what you're going to say to them, and how you're going to say it, be prepared to wait while they absorb and accept the new information. Give them the time they need.
- Don't assume that everyone will react with prejudice - enter with an open mind. Some people may surprise you with their openness and acceptance, and many people already know other LGBT people in their lives.
Where Can I Find Support if I Move Out?
You can get support from several sources, including:
- Other LGBTQ people who may share the exit experience
- Internet communities for LGBTQ people
- Trusted gay adults you may already know, such as family members or teachers
- Straight people who are allies of LGBT people
- The gay/straight alliance at your school
- LGBTQ organizations such as human rights campaign (HRC)، Trevor Project, Parents and friends of lesbians and gays (PFLAG)
- Local LGBTQ Community Center
Not everyone lives in a LGBTQ area at their school, or in a LGBTQ community center. The internet is very helpful in finding communities and supporting exits.
People who identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual may experience harassment or discrimination from people who fear or are uncomfortable with these identities.
What is Homophobia and Discrimination Against Sexual Orientation?
The definition of homophobia is the fear, hatred, discomfort, or mistrust of people who are gay, lesbian and bisexual. Biphobia is fear, hatred, annoyance, or mistrust, specifically of bisexual people. Similarly, transphobia is the fear, hatred, annoyance, or mistrust of transgender people, transgender people, or those who do not follow Traditional Gender Norms.
Although transphobia, agoraphobia and homophobia are similar, they are not the same thing. Homosexuals and residents can be both homophobic and bisexual, and people can be transphobic without being homophobic or bisexual.
Homophobia can take many different forms, including negative attitudes and beliefs about bisexual, lesbian and gay people, aversion or prejudice against them. It is often based on irrational fear and misunderstanding. Some people's homophobia may be rooted in conservative religious beliefs. People may hold homophobic beliefs if parents and families teach them.
Homophobic people may use vile language when talking about gays and lesbians. People with intersex phobias may tell they are "just to get attention" or that they are cheaters by nature. In its most extreme forms, homophobia and bisexuality can cause people to bully, abuse, and engage in violence against lesbian, gay, and bisexual people.
Some LGBT people are discriminated against on the basis of their sexual orientation or gender identity. This could be discrimination from religious institutions, companies, or our government. Examples include same-sex couples not being allowed to marry, being legally expelled simply for being LGBT, or not being allowed into a particular residence.
LGBTI people and their allies fought for equal rights and continue to do so, particularly with regard to marriage, employment, housing, equal health care, and protection against hate crimes (violence against LGBT people because of their identity).
What is Underlying Homophobia?
Introverted homophobia refers to people who suffer from homophobia while also experiencing attraction to the same sex. Sometimes, people may have negative attitudes and beliefs about those with same-sex attraction, and then pass the negative beliefs onto themselves rather than come to terms with their own desires. This may mean that they feel uncomfortable and resent their same-sex attractions, never accept their same-sex attractions, or never identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual.
People who deal with internalized homophobia may feel the need to "prove" that they are straight, display highly stereotypical behavior of straight men and women, or even openly bully and discriminate against homosexuals.
What is A Picnic?
A picnic is revealing someone else's sexual orientation without their permission. If you share information about someone's sexual orientation against their wishes, you risk affecting their lives very negatively by making them feel embarrassed, upset, and vulnerable.
You can also put them at risk of discrimination and violence. If someone shares their guidance with you, remember that this is very personal information and it is an honor that they trusted you enough to tell you. Always ask them what you are allowed to share with others and respect their wishes.
Where Can I Get Support if I'm Dealing With Homophobia?
People who experience anti-gay, bisexual, or transgender harassment often feel lonely and afraid to tell anyone what's going on. You should not face harassment.
You can get support from:
- Other LGBT people\
- Local LGBTQ Community Center your
- Internet communities for LGBTQ people
- Q Chat Space is a way for LGBTQ+ teens to connect with each other through live chat group discussions - no matter where they are
- Trusted gay adults you may already know, such as family members or teachers
- Straight people who are allies of LGBT people
- The gay/straight alliance at your high school, if applicable.
- LGBTQ organizations such as Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Trevor Project and Lesbian and Gay Parents and Friends (PFLAG)
Not everyone lives in a gay/straight alliance place in their high school, or in a LGBTQ community center. In this case, the Internet is very helpful in finding communities and support in dealing with homophobia and discrimination.
If you are a young person who is being bullied at school, it is important to tell someone, even if it seems intimidating. If you don't seek help and just accept it, the harassment will likely continue, or it may even get worse over time. This can make it difficult to keep up with grades, activities, and school in general.
Some schools may have an anti-bullying and harassment policy, and some states have adopted the Safe Schools Act, which means your school officials are legally obligated to stop harassment. If possible, find a trusted teacher or ally adult for LGBTQ students and ask for their help.
If you are a young person with homophobia and it is causing you to feel depressed or suicidal, The Trevor Project I can help.
What Can I Do To Help Stop Homophobia?
No one has the right to discriminate against, bully or harm another person psychologically or physically. There are several things you can do to help stop homophobia, homophobia, and transphobia:
- Never use negative or abusive language to describe LGBT people.
- Be wary of how informal language — such as saying “that's so gay” — can hurt others.
- Don't believe or make assumptions about LGBT stereotypes.
- Be an outspoken supporter of the LGBTQ community, regardless of your sexual orientation and identity. This is called an ally.
- Let the LGBT people in your life know that you are a friend and an ally.
- Educate yourself about LGBT issues.
- Respect LGBT people's decisions about when and where to go out.
- Join the Gay/Straight Alliance at your school, or start one at your school. GLSEN can help with that.
- Remember that being LGBTQ is just one part of a complex person's identity and life.
- Show as much interest in LGBTQ partners of your friends or family members as you would in a regular person's partner.
- If you feel safe doing so, speak up when others feel homophobic or bisexual, such as making offensive jokes, using negative language, or bullying or harassing someone because of their sexual orientation or identity.
When Treating Homophobia in Others:
- Decide if it is safe to address the problem. Some things to consider: Will you encounter a stranger in public? Or a friend or family member in private? Want to talk now or save it for later, when you're alone with this person? Would it be safer to just leave her alone and go away?
- Ask questions and be calm. Often, people don't know that the language they are using is insensitive. Avoid insulting them and tell them why you find their words offensive.
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